Terrorism exploited

15.00 hours on Saturday 23rd September, 2006 War was declared with a pre-emptive strike on the illegal outpost of the enemy. Terrorist attacks had occurred on new settlements established according to all international and national notions of proper governance adjacent to their illegal outpost. Consequently the decision, contemplated over recent times, was put into action. The outer cover was removed and bunkers were destroyed on the north and the west of their position.
As a democratic and peace loving power we humanely relocated their moveable possessions to a location of our choosing to the west of their present location. This better suited us but was closer to infrastructure required by the terrorists for rebuilding their settlement. It was also in a more clearly defined and bound area - which we, of course could monitor.
After sufficient damage to their location had been achieved our forces rested to deal with other ‘democratic issues’. However, such was the behaviour of the terrorists that the key player returned in amazingly quick time to recommence damage control of “his” area.
A counter attack by the democratic forces was immediately organised. The key player was forced to withdraw .... further significant damage was done to their infrastructure .... more was removed to the new area which we of the democratic and peace loving forces had generously arranged for them. ... some was consigned to the new settlements which we had established to repair the damage done by the terrorist forces.
It is recognised, reluctantly, that vigilance and forceful purpose must prevail over the next week to see that no further attacks are made on the new settlements nor any further attempts are made to rebuild on their old site.
Lest any of you feel an injustice has been done you are reminded that these terrorists had previously established their outpost in a well defined and established area known as “Arbor fructus Oliva”. Furthermore, the said arbor fructus oliva had been destroyed as a result of terrorist action. The democratic forces had reluctantly accepted this invasion but when new settlements set up to redress this loss were also attacked; justice cried out to be met. It is an undeniable truth, that all self respecting democratic countries should be able to grow potatoes and beans in peace and safety.
The terrorists are known in better times as scrub turkeys but that does not detract from the seriousness of the situation. Until they recognise the rights of the democratic and peace loving forces ( NAMELY US ) they remain terrorists.